Lion's Lunch: a legislative satire

We all receive bits of humor from friends occasionally. The following was received about a bicycling U.S. Marine; but I adapted it to fit the propagation of corruption that exists under the dome of our beloved state capitol building in Harrisburg. It’s fitting for our present day legislature. I have replaced biker-U.S. Marine with a biker- activist and a New York Times reporter with a state legislator. “A political activist working to clean out the corruption in Pennsylvania’s government is riding by the zoo; when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket, and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The activist jumps off his bike, runs to the cage, and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents who thank him endlessly. A Pennsylvania Legislator has watched the whole event. The legislator addressing the activist says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I ever saw a man do in my whole life.’ The activist replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really; the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.’ The legislator says, ‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I have a friend who is a journalist in the legislature, and tomorrow’s legislative reports will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?’ The activist replies, ‘I’m retired, a political activist and a Republican.’ The legislator leaves. The following morning the biker obtains a copy of the legislature reports to see if it indeed brings news of his actions and reads on the front page: “Political activist assaults African immigrant and steals his lunch”. Now you know just how popular we, who question the actions and antics of our government officials, are in the eyes of those who abuse their power in government. We have but two tools we can use to correct their injustices - our voice and our vote. Those of us who use neither must be satisfied with the status quo or else they just don’t give a damn. Let your voice and vote be heard! Bill McIntyre Harrisburg “An old loudmouth who votes”