TV or not TV - That is the question?

I am a woman who loves many things, two of which are, TV and dining out. Both are in the same realm, except I do watch more TV than having the privilege of going out for a special meal, in which I need not mess my kitchen, or wash dishes. I have tried to keep them separate, and that is either to eat, or watch TV. I will admit one of these preferences is more costly than the other, so if or when we come upon some extra money, we splurge and go out for a meal. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but I do like a cloth tablecloth over the paper place mats that remind me of a restaurant that the waitress doles out to the kids under the age of five, with the three pack of generic crayons. I guess they think I prefer reading all the local ads on home improvements, and roofers that just moved into town, and are so reliable they give you names of people to refer them. To tell you the truth I would prefer the crayons. If I am eating out, I am not a kid that needs something to draw on, so the ants in my pants don’t cause me to spill my soda. Our TV is a special, and adored amusement. Now it sounds better than ever, picture is gorgeous, I don’t even have to move off my couch while I am having my munchies to change channels, or volumes, all 314 channels of them. Without my TCM. classic station I would be a grumpy old lady, more grumpier than normal. It’s on all day, until the wee hours of the morning. The actors, and actresses, were great. On the screen, love was sincere, kids stayed kids, even though they were twenty years old. People did get shot, but they never bled. A story made you laugh, or cry from feelings related to people like yourself. Mysteries had fabulous endings, and a scary movie was a big ape that died because he fell in love with a beautiful girl (we cried for him too). These two things are my favorite things. But I am sharing one thing I hate, hate, hate, on TV, and that is sports. To sit, and listen to a sportscaster scream someone just hit a homer out of the park, when we just witnessed it, makes we wonder why husband doesn’t just watch the game on mute. Then he gets the greatest kick out of it when the camera scans the stadium to find some idiot wearing two different hats on his head. Two separate teams to boot. Wearing one hat to the left, and the other team hat to the right Guess he figures either way the score ends up at the end of the game, he can claim he rooted for the winner. (Maybe he isn’t so stupid after all.) People will go to any extremes to be near any sport they can, spend any money, travel in any traffic, go through metal detectors, and search the web for hours to find the best seat available. My husband went to the US Golf Open a few weeks ago; claims he had the greatest time ever. He lost a sneaker in the deep mud, because it rained for three days solid out in Long Island, and came home smelling life a damp tent when you camp out. But he enjoyed every moment. To me sports, and dining are two separate items, and should remain that way forever. Sports bars are not eating establishments... Period. My son., and family love to eat at AppleBees, you know the paper place mats, and generic crayons. They love it. I haven’t the heart to explain that eating out to me is NOT playing dot-to-dot, find the scrambled word, or tic-tac-toe. I would enjoy asking one of my grandchildren about their lives. My husband, and son, look like two bobble heads, checking all four corners of the building to watch some professional that is getting paid twenty million a year to trip over his shoe lace. Most of you reading this will remember a time way back in your lives when dinner, was chit-chat with your family, and the TV was off. Because dinner was on. Daddy worked hard for the meals, and Mom worked hard to cook them. Two weeks ago I suggested to Hubby that we return to a diner that was renovated last year. We ate there many years ago. It was very small, but clean, and cute. The outside looked great, so we decided to venture again. As we entered, all you could see there were many screens, about the size of of the ones in the old drive-in theaters where we took the kids. A young girl approached us, and handed us some remote control that flashed a red light when our table was ready. Was this remote from outer space? Did it contain ions that knew our table was ready? Was it cancer causing? This young lady wore a mini shirt, (now called skorts). She was so happy because our remote was not needed anymore, our table was ready. Miss Skort asked for our last name anyway, Three times over the volume control. Three times I answered her. “Oh, this way Mrs. Kelly, (our name is Keller). I just rolled my eyes. The place was still the same size, but now that cute little counter, with the foot stools didn’t exist anymore, it was now a bar, The tables were so close you couldn’t help hear every word the people next to you spoke. The couple to our right was complaining about all the money they lost in the stock market. The gentleman sitting to our left was talking to himself; of course he had a Bluetooth on the other ear. He decided that the volume in the place wasn’t loud enough so then listened with the other ear to his voice messages with his cell. My husband asked what I wanted to order, and I announced, “Another place to eat.” As we got up to leave, Miss Skort looked puzzled, so I gave her a simple explanation, not to hurt her feelings. “We don’t care for the menu”. The last word I heard from Miss Skort was “What did you say?” What happened to the old world charm? - the owner in his white apron, that knew your name, and his wife who covered the donuts, and pastries in that glass plate on the stem. Did they ship them off to Citi Field flipping hamburgers for $10 a piece? Even the pine trees had said a final farewell, due to the much needed parking. Yuk. I leave my readers with this thought. Have you been viewing all these advertisements on your television lately? Maylox — for upset stomach Purple Pill — Heartburn Pepto Bismol — our old standard — for cramps Activa — new one — They claim it cures irregularity in two weeks. And last but not least my favorite Miracle Ear (hearing aides) If you are living on these drugs and aids — my guess you are eating at to many sports bars. Eat in peace. Harriet Keller Dingmans Ferry